Under the Sky: Reliving memories

Sometimes you become nostalgic. It maybe for moments, scents, people, food, experiences, a period in your life.

People come and go in our life. It just happens - someone who at one point was the most favorite person in your life (your best friend, your partner, a family member, a mentor, your dog!), is no longer in your life. All that you have of that person, that experience, that emotion, is the memory.
Sometimes we don't know what to do with those memories, so overwhelming are they. You can't rewind the clock, you can't forward the clock, you have to stay here and now. In this moment, just remembering. You close your eyes and you are back in that moment - remembering and reliving. And if at that moment, you have a smile on your face, you have a lot to be thankful for. What a luxury that is!

Even if that person is no longer a part of your life, even if you no longer get to indulge in that experience, it happened. This person/ experience brought you joy, drove you mad, made you passionate, became your passion, experienced life with you, or let you experience life.

They brought you to where you are today.

Everyday, time is set to 00:00. You are literally starting from scratch, every day. Your memories are the only tangible remnants of your past, and guide you and take you forward. Remind you of your past, helping you form a sense of self - where you come from, what you have lived through, who you have loved.

Take a breath. Be thankful for all that happened under this great big sky of yours. And look ahead.

Women's Day

So it is international women's day today, and my facebook feed has been showing up a variety of ways that friends have been celebrating - remembering the murdered and missing aboriginal women in Canada, the murder of trans women, 'India's daughter' and Jyoti Singh, going to marches, protests, talks, and many simply celebrating their daily achievements that matter most to them. Some have even questioned, why celebrate it just today? What does this day mean?

To be honest, this day was just another day for me. I haven't really planned anything to celebrate myself or the women in my life. But if anything, I am remembering the women in my lives, and reflecting on what I can learn from them. And there is plenty to learn. I have many role models to look up to and emulate.

I think about my grandmothers, I think of inner reflection, determination.
I think about my mother, I think of patience and strength.
I think about my aunts, I see humour, courage.
I think about my sisters, I see hard work, ambition, ingenuity.
I think about my friends, I hear their laughter, loyalty.
I think about my mentors, I see guidance, leadership, compassion.
I think about me. I feel proud. To know and to have so many women who have come in to my life thus far, and have left their mark on me. They do so without knowing it or without intending to. They simply be themselves, and my world is a better place because of it. Like a tree.

I feel joy when I think about all of them. What a privilege that is!

To me, taking a moment out to remember how my life has been transformed by the women in my life and around the world, is how I celebrate today.

Happy Women's Day!

The need to escape

Sometimes we want to run away from where we are in our life. It is too stressful, or depressing, or tiring. It can be work, school, relationships, anything. The need to get away and escape is so human. Some people take an hour out of their days and go to the gym, some others binge watch Netflix (guilty), others leave town and travel, while some others focus on whatever their hobbies are. Point is, we do things that make us feel good, and happy on the inside, to distract ourselves from whatever it is that is bogging us down in that day/week/phase of our life. I meditate. In order to escape my stresses, I do Vipassana meditation, which teaches us to observe reality for what it is. Ironically enough, I use that very meditation practice to escape my reality. Yes, it just dawned on me today. The practice of Vipassna teaches us to observe the physical sensations on our body, from the very obvious ones to very subtle ones that we normally don't notice. By merely observing these sensations on our body, we come to understand the saying 'nothing is permanent except change'. Any sensation that we feel, the good, bad and the ugly, passes. Vipassna teaches us to merely observe these sensations come and go, rather than react to them. This can help in keeping you calm and prevent you from reacting to situations in real life. I was supposed to go to a day-long sitting in Vipassna today. A block before we reached, our car stalled in the middle of the road. I couldn't leave my husband in the middle of the road to take care of this mess, while I hopped away to meditate and find inner peace. And so I stayed back on the road with him until help arrived. Until an hour later. While we waited in the middle of the road. On a main road. During peak hour. We managed to pull the car over on to literally a gap in the median of the road, so we are not blocking traffic. We got many passerbys looking at us, wondering why are we parked in the middle of the road. Yes, the skill to not react to this would have been very useful right about now. Instead, we both reacted, and got angry and irritated. Help didn't arrive until over an hour later. My day to 'escape' didn't work out as I wanted it to. And when it didn't, I got angry about it. I got annoyed about why I couldn't go off and meditate on accepting reality as it is, while I was actively grumbling about being in the situation I was in. Perhaps this was the universe reminding me that it is easy to meditate in the comfort of my own home, and find inner peace while am already pretty peaceful. The real practice is when even in such otherwise non-emergency, but mildly annoying situations, we actually keep our cool, and not react. It will pass.